Times I have been mistaken for a girl:
1: Ever since I was tall enough to reach the phone perched and mounted against the wall, I was able to answer it. And every time I did answer, I was always greeted by someone on the other end calling me "Ma'am." And for a long time, I thought they were saying "Man" because I was cool and hip, man!
2: When beginning high school, I found a correlation between girls finding I was cute and long, swishy hair so I decided to grow my hair out like how optimists never trim their dreams short or how dreamers never cut their hopes down. But this lion's mane became and remained a gender mystery to some store owners asking my girlfriend and I, "How are you ladies doing tonight?"
3: I was always a crier. And with 3 older brothers, all seemingly manlier and tougher than I, it wouldn't be strange to hear them telling me to buck up and shut up. Uncomfortably familiar like loneliness, hearing "Stop being a girl" was a terrible mantra that I got used to like "I will die alone" or "I will never amount to anything."
4: Though it is quite far from the truth, my mom, in her old, traditional ways, believes gay to be synonymous with effeminate. So it won't be odd hearing from my mom questioning my sexuality due to the clothing I wore or perhaps how much I spent on appearances. "Why don't you do boy things? How are you going to take care of your wife?"
5: And when my father found out that sometimes I liked looking at boys, he told my mother that he lost a son. And I can't help but keep thinking about my sister who
6: My mom always complained about having 4 boys and no daughters and
7: My sister was born in 1991 but
8: died three days after her birth due to complications and
9: My mom didn't want to have any children afterwards but
10: My dad had a feeling and I don't know what that feeling was but I think it was
11: that he wanted to have another daughter and
12: I didn't come out the way they expected
13: I think I failed before I was even conceived
3: I was always a crier
14: I was always so mad at myself for being so sensitive
15: Why wasn't it okay to play house with the girls?
16: I wasn't good at playing cops and robbers
17: The teacher called role and said Alexandria
0: I was a disappointment before I even began.
12: I didn't come out the way they expected
12: I didn't come out the way they expected
12: I didn't come out the way they expected and now I'm at some variable of a number, wondering if it still makes a difference. My hair is shorter, my voice is a little deeper, and I still might not do things a boy does. Instead, I do things a human does.